


wishful thinking

by save_ginny_weasley



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Asexual Character, Coming Out, Established Relationship, I wrote this at 1am, M/M, i saw someone on tumblr like a year ago hc spot as ace and i was like ............interesting, no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 23:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/save_ginny_weasley/pseuds/save_ginny_weasley
Summary: Spot has relationship anxiety and Race is annoyingly good at reading him....Some laughably self-indulgent ace!Spot drabble I wrote after having a conversation with a friend about how annoyed I am with the lack of ace representation in media.





	wishful thinking

“Hey, Spotty?”

Spot, half-asleep on the couch next to Race, hums in response.

“How come… Whenever I ask if you wanna—you know, go a little further than kissing, how come you get all cagey?”

Spot knew this would come up eventually. Race would figure it out, he was too smart not to connect the dots. Spot couldn’t give what he knew Race needed, so they would break up and this would end just like every other relationship he had ever had. Honestly, he doesn’t know how he let himself get this far deep with Race in the first place. It was only a matter of time.

He stiffens at Race’s side in an instant, and it doesn’t take long for Race to notice the change. “Hey,” he says, his voice heavy with concern, and moves away from Spot to face him. Spot stares at his lap.

“Something the matter?” Race asks, and Spot turns even further away from him, hoping to be standoffish enough to get him to stop talking. He should know better by now, though, because if he knows anything about his boyfriend it’s that he’s as stubborn as an ox.

“Come on, talk to me, Spotty,” Race pushes, and Spot groans.

“It doesn’t matter, alright?” he says, hoping to put an end to the conversation. “Ain’t nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

Race laughs a little and shifts ever so slightly toward Spot. “I wouldn’t say that. I’m your boyfriend, I’d argue it’s my whole thing.”

Spot crosses his arms and turns back away from Race indignantly. “Well, it ain’t mine.”

Race is quiet for a moment, which is worrying enough, and Spot is preparing himself for the inevitable when Race sighs. “Are you… Do you want to break up or something?” His voice is small, and that really gets Spot’s attention. He finally looks up at his boyfriend and finds that he’s wringing his hands in his lap, a nervous tic he’s had for as long as they have known each other. Despite the circumstances, Spot’s instinct is to comfort him.

“No,” he says forcefully. “No, I—of course not. Dumbass,” he throws in.

It doesn’t make any sense. Race was supposed to break up with him, not the other way around. So why did Race think Spot wanted to—

And then it hits him. The skirting around sex, the emotional distance, the long list of short-lived relationships in his past. Of course Race would think he doesn’t want this.

“Shit, Racer, I—” Spot struggles for the right words. He’s never been good at this. “Damn. I didn’t mean to make it seem like—I don’t want to break up.” Again, he has to lighten the mood, so he adds, “You’re too stupid to be left alone.”

Race does let himself smile a little at that, but Spot can tell he still isn’t satisfied. “So,” Race continues, looking at Spot now, “if you don’t want to break up… what’s the deal? I mean, if you just don’t want to have sex, that’s okay with me.”

Spot nods. “Yeah, you— you got it.” It’s not the whole truth, but he’ll take it.

“Can I ask why?” Race says after a moment. He really is too observant for his own good.

Spot sighs. “I, uh…” He wants to say it, he really does; it would make everything so much simpler if he could just get the words “I’m asexual” from his brain to his mouth, and it occurs to him that he has never actually said it out loud before. No wonder this is so hard.

“Is it like… a trauma thing?”

Spot shuts that down before it can get any further, immediately shaking his head. “No, definitely not.”

Race nods thoughtfully, and again another realization dawns upon Spot: Race knows him remarkably well. Instead of sitting in silence waiting for Spot to come up with the words he needs, he offers his own so Spot doesn’t have to be the one to say it. It isn’t always applicable, but boy does Spot appreciate the help.

“Okay, so if it ain’t that, then—” Race starts, gasps, and smacks himself on the forehead. “I’m an idiot! You’re ace, aren’t you? How the hell did that take me so long?”

Spot is surprised by how relieving it is to hear the word come out of his boyfriend’s mouth. He hesitates to make eye contact, but he nods in confirmation. “Hit the nail on the head.”

Race laughs jovially and jumps without hesitation over to Spot, putting an arm around him. “Geez, Spot, you shoulda just told me! That ain’t no big deal. You tell me what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not and we’ll figure this thing out together, yeah?”

Spot feels frozen. He knows he looks like a deer in the headlights, but he has a lot to process right now. He stares dumbly for a few moments before finally finding his words. “That’s it? You really don’t think it’s a big deal?”

Race pulls Spot in tighter and he’s beaming. “’Course not! I don’t need to fuck you to love you.”

Spot chokes back a laugh and shoves Race off of him, causing the other to fall back into a stack of pillows and bark out laughter of his own. “Tactless asshole,” Spot says through chuckles. God, how does Race always know exactly what to do to lift his mood?

When Race sits up and catches his breath, Spot is smiling hesitantly at him. “You’re sure you’re cool with this?”

“Without a doubt,” Race says confidently. “Why?”

Spot shrugs. “Well, you’d be the first.”

Race’s brows furrow in confusion and his grip tightens on Spot slightly. “What do you mean?”

Spot hesitates, but he figures he might as well let it all out in one go. “Other guys ain’t as willing to give up sex as you. Soon as they hear I—don’t want that, they scram. ‘S why I didn’t tell you for so long. I figured you’d make a break for it the moment you found out.”

Race’s eyes widen. “You thought _I_ wanted to break up with _you_?” Race asks, incredulous, and when Spot doesn’t respond he kisses the other boy on the cheek. “That’s bullshit, you hear? Any guy worth his salt ain’t gonna run out on you like that. Being ace ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, Spotty.”

Spot can’t help but scoff. “Well, it sure seems like it.”

“Don’t you say that,” Race says, and Spot finally looks up at him. Race’s gaze is intense but the anger in it is not directed at him.

“Just because you don’t want sex like a lot of guys don’t mean you aren’t deserving of this.”

Spot didn’t have to say it for Race to know he was thinking it, and not for the first time today Spot thinks about just how much he wants this to last forever. This time, though… This time it might not be wishful thinking.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for making it this far. I don't use social media very much anymore but if you want you can find me at my musicals tumblr @santa-feeeeeeeeee.


End file.
